But what are your actual policies?

Oh, you mean like the ones Parliament pretends to argue about while the country slowly disintegrates?

Let’s talk about the joke that Parliament already is:

POLITICIANS SAY:

“We care about the people!”

BUT WHAT THEY DO:

• Give $5,000+ a week in MP salaries while families can’t afford groceries

• Spend millions on consultants to write reports nobody reads

• Debate for hours on whether or not to acknowledge the Treaty of Waitangi

• Cut funding to the arts, libraries, and social services

• Raise the cost of living while telling you to “tighten your belt”

• Greenlight projects that destroy ecosystems, then plant a tree for PR

• Ban fun in public — unless it makes money for a corporation

• Blame the poor for systemic failure

• Avoid questions and rehearse talking points

• Say “We’re listening” and then do the opposite

And you’re asking us what our policies are?

Alright. Here’s one:

Joy is a valid political strategy.

But fine. You want policy? Here’s the NZ Party Party platform:

• Free community festivals in every major town

• Toy libraries and play vans for kids & adults

• Face paint before paperwork — restore joy to public spaces

• Weekly sausage sizzles funded by redirecting one consultant’s salary

• Education that teaches kindness, play, & media literacy

• Mental health support that isn’t a 3-month waitlist

• Food justice — no child in New Zealand should be hungry

• A Ministry of Magic, Mirth & Meaning — seriously

• A Truth & Reconciliation Process for colonisation, poverty, and systemic gaslighting

Because let’s be honest…

New Zealand doesn’t need more technocrats or buzzwords.
We need hope, honesty, and a bloody good reason to wake up in the morning.

So yeah. We have policies.

But we’re also here to say:

Politics should not feel like a dentist appointment.
It should feel like a hug. A laugh. A spark of magic.

Vote for play. Vote for power. Vote for people.

Vote for the New Zealand Party Party.

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