PUBLIC WIZARDRY & FREE SAUSAGE ACT

A Policy Proposal by the New Zealand Party Party

Filed under: Radical Joy, Dignified Lunch, and Magical Infrastructure

Summary:

The Public Wizardry & Free Sausage Act (PW&FSA) is a legislative proposal to enshrine joyful expression, public nourishment, and open access to wizardry as fundamental rights in Aotearoa New Zealand.

Because in a world of rising food costs, political detachment, and bureaucratic gloom — sometimes what the people need most is a hot sausage and a card trick.


Core Policy Points:

1. Free Sausage Sizzles as a Human Right

2. Legal Protections for Public Wizardry

 “Magic is not a threat. It’s just narrative acupuncture.” — Captain Kiwi

3. The Right to Joyful Assembly

 Goals:

Next Action:

FREE SAUSAGE SIZZLE OUTSIDE PARLIAMENT – DATE TBC
Captain Kiwi and the NZ Party Party will be holding an unauthorized but nutritionally generous sausage sizzle on the Parliament lawn.
All are welcome.
Veggie options available.
Glitter optional, but encouraged.

 FAQ:

Q: Is this a joke?
A: Only if you think feeding hungry people and protecting joy is funny.

Q: How will this be funded?
A: By reducing budget lines for “Consultancy on Nothingness” and “Suits Who Do Nothing.”

Q: Is magic real?
A: Watch this card… now it’s a sausage.

 Support the Act:

Final Word from Captain Kiwi:

“The government can feed war machines, pay PR firms, and serve spin.
But it can’t give you a sausage?
That’s not leadership. That’s cowardice in a suit.”

Public Wizardry & Free Sausage Act
Because if the people are hungry and joyless,
then the real crime is the menu at Parliament.