NZ PARTY PARTY POLICIES (Written by Kids, Backed by Science)

This is what we actually believe.
This isn’t a joke.
This is the future we’d want to grow up in—if we weren’t already traumatised by traffic, tests, and taxes.

BAN HOMEWORK FOR UNDER 15s

Because it literally doesn’t help. Like, at all.

Countries like Finland, Denmark, and South Korea give less homework—and beat NZ in education rankings.
The OECD found no link between more homework and better grades in under-15s.
Homework under 15 = more stress, less sleep, less joy.

Sources: OECD PISA report 2015, “The Case Against Homework” (Bennett & Kalish)

Our Policy:
→ If a teacher gives you homework under age 15, you get to give them homework too.
→ All homework must be edible or silly. Otherwise, it’s banned.

MANDATORY TOY BREAKS IN SCHOOL EVERY DAY

Because play builds intelligence. No cap.

Dr. Stuart Brown shows play is essential for brain growth, empathy, and resilience.
Finland = 15 mins of play for every 45 mins of learning.
Their kids are happier. Ours are fried.

Source: “Play: How It Shapes the Brain” – Stuart Brown, MD

Our Policy:
→ Every school gets a bouncy castle.
→ If you don’t play for 20 minutes, your brain gets to go on strike.

RAIN IS NOT A REASON TO CANCEL OUTDOOR TIME

Because puddles are the Earth’s bubble wrap.

Nature play = longer attention spans, lower anxiety, better sleep.
“Indoor lunchtimes” are a crime against frogs and freedom.

Sources: UK ADHD & Nature Study (2007), “Last Child in the Woods” – Richard Louv

Our Policy:
→ Every school gets gumboots, raincoats, and one named puddle.
→ No one gets detention for being muddy.

SNACKS ARE A HUMAN RIGHT

Because kids literally can’t learn when they’re hungry.

Hungry kids = lower test scores, more anxiety.
Countries with free lunches (Sweden, Japan) = better focus, long-term health.
NZ? Too many hungry kids.

Sources: UNICEF, WHO, NZ Children’s Commissioner 2021

Our Policy:
→ Free fruit and lunch for every kid.
→ Snack trading allowed but no capitalism allowed in the lunchbox.

ALL CLASSROOMS MUST HAVE A PET (OR PLANT THAT THINKS IT’S A PET)

Because empathy is learned by loving small things.

Animals in class = calmer kids, more kindness.
Also, fun.

Source: American Humane Education Study (2013)

Our Policy:
→ Government grants for class pets (or sentient ferns).
→ If the pet is a frog, it gets a cape.

NATIONAL HOLIDAY FOR NO REASON

Because joy doesn’t need a justification.

More holidays = better wellbeing, stronger communities.
Joy literally boosts immunity and reduces cortisol.

Sources: World Happiness Report 2023, Journal of Positive Psychology

Our Policy:
→ Country shuts down once a year for “Because We Can Day.”
→ Forts, glitter, and dance battles required.

BAN THE PHRASE: “GROW UP”

Because that’s the worst spell ever cast on a child.

“Grow up” = shame training.
Crushes curiosity. Kills creativity.
Creates anxious adults with no imagination.

Sources: Every child psychologist, ever.

Our Policy:
→ Say “grow up”? Pillow fort. Now.
→ Repeat offenders: tickled into enlightenment.

REAL JOY. REAL POLICIES. REAL FUTURE.

We’re not promising flying cars.
We’re promising flying kites.

We’re not optimizing trauma.
We’re rewriting what government even means.

This is joy-based governance.
This is NZ Party Party.