NZ Party Party – Policies for a Fairer, Funner New Zealand
“A country should be a place where people actually enjoy living, not just surviving.”
Government Transparency – “If You Can’t Explain It, You Can’t Do It”
Satirical Lead-In:
“We believe in a revolutionary new political concept: Honesty. Yeah, wild, right? Imagine a world where politicians actually tell you what they’re doing—before they do it.”
Policy Overview:
Government secrecy and bureaucratic inertia have led to widespread public distrust. In a democracy, transparency should be a given, not a luxury. We want a system where decisions are clear, accessible, and accountable—where the public isn’t left in the dark while deals are made behind closed doors.
Detailed Policy Proposals:
Mandatory Political Livestreams & Public Accountability Sessions
All parliamentary discussions (excluding those tied to national security) will be streamed live with interactive public Q&A sessions.
If your MP is making shady deals, we want it recorded in 4K.
Politician Salary Tied to Public Satisfaction
If public approval drops below 40%, MP salaries drop accordingly.
Any MP caught in corruption gets 0% salary until proven otherwise.
Lobbying Transparency & Corporate Influence Reduction
All politicians must disclose meetings with lobbyists in real time.
5-year waiting period before an MP can take a job in an industry they regulated.
Public Referendums on Major Decisions
If 100,000 citizens petition a policy, it must go to public vote.
Freedom of Information Expansion & Whistleblower Protection
No government agency can indefinitely withhold documents.
Full legal protections for whistleblowers exposing corruption.
Outcome: Less corruption, more trust, and a government that actually works for the people.
Housing That Actually Makes Sense
“We believe homes should be for living in, not for profit-hoarding.”
Ban Foreign Property Investment – Only NZ citizens or long-term residents can buy homes.
National Rent Cap System – Prevent landlords from hiking rent faster than inflation.
Public Housing Expansion – Build high-quality, eco-friendly state homes.
Vacant Home Tax – Empty homes while people are homeless? Not on our watch.
Outcome: Lower rents, more affordable housing, fewer empty investment properties.
A Public Transport System That Doesn’t Suck
“Cars shouldn’t be the only option. We deserve trains, buses, and ferries that actually work.”
High-Speed Rail Between Major Cities – Wellington to Auckland in under 5 hours.
Free Public Transport for Under-30s & Low-Income Earners – Fewer cars, less traffic, better cities.
Tax Breaks for Car-Free Households – If you ditch your car, you save on rates.
Outcome: Less congestion, lower emissions, a more connected NZ.
Taxation That’s Actually Fair
“If you own five yachts, you can afford to chip in a little more.”
Implement a Wealth Tax on the Ultra-Rich – If you have over $10 million in assets, you pay 2% annually.
Luxury Goods Tax – 20% tax on unnecessary luxury purchases (yachts, private jets, Lamborghinis).
Remove GST on Essential Items – No tax on fresh food, healthcare products, and kids’ school supplies.
Close Corporate Tax Loopholes – No more multinationals dodging taxes.
Outcome: A fairer economy that benefits everyone, not just the ultra-rich.
New Zealand Should Be the Coolest Country on Earth
“Let’s make NZ the best place to live, not just survive.”
Public Festivals & Events Fund – More free music, arts, and cultural festivals.
National Four-Day Workweek Trial – Pilot programs to see if we can work less but live better.
Legalise Psychedelic Therapy – Used responsibly, psychedelics help mental health.
Outcome: A happier, healthier, more vibrant NZ.
Sustainability & Climate Action
“How about we don’t destroy the planet for profit?”
Massively Expand Renewable Energy – Solar, wind, and hydro should be the default, not the exception.
Tax Big Polluters – If you pollute, you pay. Simple.
Free Solar Panels for Low-Income Households – Cut power bills and emissions at the same time.
Rewilding & Native Tree Planting – Restore biodiversity instead of just talking about it.
Outcome: A sustainable future that actually protects NZ’s natural beauty.
Human Rights & Equality
“People should have rights. Groundbreaking, I know.”
Protect Trans Rights & LGBTQ+ Equality – Strengthen anti-discrimination laws.
Reform Drug Laws – Stop treating addicts like criminals. Focus on rehabilitation.
Māori & Pasifika Empowerment – Increase investment in Māori health, education, and self-determination.
Outcome: A New Zealand that supports all its people.
Make Politics Fun Again
“If government is going to be ridiculous, at least let’s make it entertaining.”
Minister of Memes & Satirical Politics – A government role dedicated to public political humor.
Live Political Debates with Lie Detectors – Every MP must wear a polygraph in debates.
Annual MP Obstacle Course for Charity – Watch politicians struggle through an obstacle course. All proceeds go to public services.
Outcome: More political engagement, fewer career politicians playing the system.
Final Vision for NZ Party Party
New Zealand doesn’t have to be boring. It doesn’t have to be a place where you work yourself into the ground just to afford rent. We can build a country where people actually love living, where government is transparent, where policies make sense, and where fun and fairness are the standard—not the exception.
NZ Party Party isn’t about left vs. right—it’s about people vs. bullshit.
Final Question:
What do YOU think New Zealand needs to be better & funner? Let’s make it happen.