Qualifications of Captain Kiwi
(Also Known As New Zealand’s Only Magician Politician)
Formal Credentials?
Nope.
I don’t have a law degree.
I didn’t go to business school.
And I’ve never worked in government.
Real Qualifications?
Oh yeah. Let’s begin:
Public Joy Practitioner
Performed over 1000+ magic tricks in public places — gas stations, bus stops, supermarkets, festivals, airports.
DJ’d events while wearing a wizard hat and mixing the national anthem into Poi E.
Built a one-man political campaign out of face paint, poi, and fairy bread.
Became the Captain Kiwi myth and spread joy and child like wholesome New Zealand patriotism, with an emphasis on fairy bread, gumboots, snags, sports, lord of the rings,
Childlike Wonder Specialist
Taught kindergarten magic shows — for free — just to make kids laugh.
Created a bouncy-castle-powered political party where joy is the policy.
Handed out hundreds of slinkys, stickers, balloons, and glitter to strangers in the street.
Street-Level Performance Expert
Teaches shuffle dance to complete strangers in parking lots and on Parliament steps.
Performs poi shows at protests — including getting filmed by One News in a cape, gumboots, and NZ flag suit.
Built entire routines with glow poi, fire poi, and spontaneous crowd work.
Unofficial Minister of Play
Founded PLAE — Performing, Learning, Art & Education — a movement to bring play into education and politics.
Runs free workshops in dance, juggling, magic, storytelling, and political satire.
Designed mystery toy boxes to surprise and delight people of all ages.
Philosophical Systems Designer
Created Infinitism — a home-grown framework for consciousness, compassion, and truth.
Writes about recursion, collapse cycles, and why adults stop playing (and how to reverse it).
Can explain neoliberalism with a sock puppet named Socky.
Political Trickster-In-Chief
Was kicked out of Parliament… for doing magic.
Went back anyway. Because the trick wasn’t finished.
Once handed out free sausages and declared a “Wizards for Sausage Rights” campaign.
Community Hype Generator
Films and edits events, festivals, and rallies through Pix Media — a media company that trades joy for gear.
Trades performance for venue rentals, equipment, food, and party gear — because money isn’t the only currency.
Makes people feel seen, celebrated, and mythic in everyday life.
So Am I Qualified?
Not to run the country like a CEO.
But to remind it how to feel alive again?
Absolutely.
Join the Movement
Vote for joy.
Vote for magic.
Vote for parties, not parliaments.