ALTERNATIVE SENTENCING: THE PUBLIC JOY TRIAL

When a public figure is caught violating the Joy or Truth Codes,
they may be offered redemption through a Community Sentencing Poll.

VOTED BY THE PEOPLE — CHOICES MAY INCLUDE:

• Wipeout Course in a Silly Hat
  They must complete a full inflatable obstacle course while wearing a hat voted on by the people.
  Options include:

  • Duck Hat

  • Giant Banana

  • Sparkly Tiara

  • Cone of Shame

  • “I Voted Against Free Ice Cream” Cap

• Host a Children’s Disco
  Must DJ a primary school disco with a playlist approved by Year 4s and dance with every student.

• Balloon Animal Rehabilitation Program
  Must learn and make 100 balloon animals, distributed at local markets under the watchful eye of The Joy Police.
  The Joy Police wear sparkly aviators, ride scooters, and blow whistles whenever someone lies or refuses to smile.

• Public Apology Karaoke
  Must sing their apology to a karaoke version of a classic Kiwi song in full costume.

• Slide of Accountability
  Must climb to the top of the nation’s longest slide, hold a megaphone, and shout:
  “I’m sorry for selling out Aotearoa!”
  before sliding into a ball pit labelled “Reintegration.”

• Community Car Wash of Contrition
  Must wash 20 local cars while children squirt them with bubbles and ask philosophical questions like:
  “Why did you choose money over people?”

WHO ENFORCES THIS?

The Joy Police.
A department of sparkle-vested, scooter-riding officers tasked with maintaining maximum play energy.
All trials are officiated by Captain Kiwi and a rotating jury of Children Under 12.

WHY THIS WORKS:

Because true justice should restore dignity, not destroy it.
Because laughter disarms power better than rage.
Because if they can’t dance, they don’t belong in politics.

The NZ Party Party believes:
“If you break the Joy Code,
you must serve the Joy Code.”

And sometimes, that means running in jandals across inflatable mayhem in a hot dog costume.